And... Deflate.

Men and Martinis has gone back to the publisher. God help me. I had about ten days with that thing, which at this point feels like kind of a foreign object to me. I wrote it. But taking months in between passes at it definitely offers me a chance to gain perspective on what I've written. Unfortunately -- and I don't know if this is my tendency for self-flagellation or if it's truth -- when I saw it again after three months away from me, it kind of looked like shit. I had three big things to tackle that my editor had directed me to concentrate on. And I found about three million little things. There are a few ways to look at this. Maybe, in the months between passes, all the other writing I do makes me a better writer. So when I come back to something written in the past, I am better able to see where I can improve. Actually, that's it. That is the way I'm going to choose to look at it. Because any other possibility is painful and I can't even write them down here.

I think it's a good book. It's the book I've wanted to write forever. (There's one other... but that's this is the first one). Or at least it's the first part of a story that I've always known I would try to tell. And I have faith that the back and forth and multiple opinions and many hands in the stew will make it that much better. Maybe it takes a village. And this is my first go publishing with a press and not doing it myself, so it's undoubtedly going to feel a bit uncomfortable at times. I'm used to having all the control. That part is very hard.

Anyway, if all goes as planned, this book will be born in early December. I can't imagine a better holiday gift for myself! And I'm going to be at the New Adult Sleepover Weekend to promote it just days later!

But now that M&M is off my plate temporarily... I feel kind of depressed. Maybe this is what it feels like when your kids go off to college...